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Maybe I`m the good kind of fat like an avocado.
Science is just a numbery way to explain magic.
Designated drivers just drive me to drink.
Ok advertisers, for the last time. I’m playing a game I downloaded for free. So, the fact that you chose to advertise here means your product is grossly overpriced…
My death bed confession is going to be epic!
Went into a five-star hotel to use the bathroom and now it`s a two-star hotel.
I could be a morning person if morning happened after 11.
Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
Sometimes I get shivers in my spine just thinking about how much tougher Popeye would`ve been if he`d eaten fresh spinach instead of canned.
Despite the old saying, "Don`t take your troubles to bed", many women still sleep with their husbands.
The problem with taking the road less traveled is the poor phone signal...
An empty fridge is a sad fridge.
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn’t hear you the first 100 times.
Nothing starts my day off quite like an inspirationsl status!...May your day go fast, your socks match and your underwear no ride up your a$$.
Safety Tip: lock your doors and windows before bed. Btw, I love what you`ve done with the place.