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Any girl is a stripper if you wait outside her window long enough
Women are always complaining that men are messy by leaving clothes layin around…..That’s because women take up all the closets
Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped
Things I didn`t learn in high school... how to pay bills buy a house apply for college but thank goodness I can graph a polynomial function.
I`m sorry I snort-laughed when you were saying your vows.
I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at myself and saying "there´s one."
If you like to listen to music while having sex, listen to a live album. That way you will get an applause every 3-4 minutes.
The old saying "I wouldn`t wish this on my worst enemy"... Clearly you have forgotten why they are your worst enemy.
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, `You`re only interested in one thing,` and you can`t remember what it is.
I was going to get a lot of stuff done tonight, but I didn`t. Because, you know...beer.
I`m not judging you, I`m just trying to guess what medications you`re on.
A few bad decisions really liven up a boring day.
Your giving me the silent treatment??? FKN FINALLY!!
I just threw up my weekend.
Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok in a couple days.