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Happy 1 year anniversary to the Lean Cuisine in my freezer!
I might not be a great example, but I´m one hell of a good warning.
Falling in love is lot like dying, you never get to do it enough to become good at it.
I think I`m a grown up the same way Dr. Phil is a doctor.
NERD WEDDING: Instead of saying “I do.” They say “I accept the terms & conditions.”
That weird feeling when you wake up from a nap & you don`t whether it`s am or pm or what day, month, or year it is.
The whole purpose of vacationing is to make you appreciate knowing where the channels are at home.
My give a damn is busted! Parts on backorder....
A woman that doesn`t ask for nothing deserves everything
I hope all your dreams come true, especially that one where you`re being chased by a giant spider.
It`s so awkward when you get texted to come over and you have to pretend like you weren`t already inside their house.
If it was not for electricity, we would all be watching T.V. by candle light.
Constantly losing socks in the laundry but finding change. So logically there has to be a sock fairy.
I don`t know what your problem is, but I`ll bet it`s hard to pronounce.
what do you mean booze ain`t food!?