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What do you call a guy who makes "Woman in the Kitchen" jokes? Single.
I think my girlfriend’s hallucinating. She keeps telling me she’s seeing other people.
We can`t cure cancer, diabetes or PMS, but we have 10 different pills to make a mans happy place bigger.
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it…
Why isn`t Hungary`s capital city called "Very"
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don`t call it Liam then what is even the point of you
This girl says she wants me to butter her muffin ... I don’t even know what that means, but now I’m hungry.
There’d be less accidents if there was a texting lane.
I named my dog "5 Miles" so I can tell people, "I walk 5 Miles every day"
I finally quit eating pizza for good, now I only eat pizza for evil.
I would like to learn one of those clicking languages from Africa because I get the feeling my knees are trying to tell me something.
thinks we should all jump out of our chairs and do the 5 second happy dance! READY! GO!
Just because I`m nodding my head at appropriate times while you`re talking doesn`t mean I give a sh!t about what you`re saying..
The best part of being a kid is probably saying, f*ck it. I`m going to be Spider-Man today.