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Eventually I will find Bigfoot and he will tell me all he knows about Hide & Seek.
I know I`m in trouble when the voice in my head starts using my middle name
I don`t mind people sneezing in public. It`s that "Pre-sneeze face" they make that scares the hell out of me.
*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate...
You may think I`m dumb but you overestimate me.
I do not fail, I succeed at things that do not work.
My wife wants to have more kids but I don`t want to have to learn anyone else`s name.
I`m not crazy I`m just special! No wait maybe I am crazy.. One second, I have to talk to myself about this hold on...
Who named them veterinarians and not "dogtors"?
Remember waffles are just pancakes ribbed for your pleasure
Do you think Santa regrets giving all those bad kids coal now that global warming is threatening his home?
You can always count on me to feel you up when you`re feeling down
I just slammed hard on the brakes and found 3 lighters, $4.67 in change, condom box, empty flask, half an 1/8th, and a puppy.
Crazy to think back before camera phones we all used to sit in front of bathroom mirrors with sketch pads.
Showed the kids here how to eat corn-on-the-cob typewriter style........ Now explaining typewriter.