Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The only "B" word you should call a woman is "beautiful"... B!tches love being called beautiful.
One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
Getting out of bed feels like the worst thing that’s ever happened to me ... every time it happens.
Note to self: When sending Valentines messages don`t use group text next year.
If you ask me, every Friday is a Good Friday.
So I was looking at my boyfriends facebook page and saw a ton of girls saying they love him. He`s obviously cheating on me. We are so over Zac Efron.
I recently added squats to my daily workout routine and I did so by moving my beer to the bottom shelf in my refrigerator.
The longest yard for me is that space between me and the nacho dip
According to Pinterest, I`m severely under-utilizing mason jars.
have you ever noticed `lol` looks like a drowning person?
No, I do not want to talk about how I got all these scratches. On a completely unrelated note; If you`ve ever wondered how many squirrels fit in a pillowcase,,,.. it’s 9.
If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.
I went for window shopping , and guest what , I bought four windows....
My wife told me I have to quit playing poker all the time but I think she`s bluffing...
I fight evil wherever it may be ... except in dark, scary places.