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I’m crazy but not “LeBron is better than Jordan” crazy.
Time heals all wounds...unless it`s infected or gangrene or something then time makes it worse.
Nobody really owns tupperware. We are all just really borrowing it from one another.
Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it`s to be less of a nerd.
Just saw the trailer for "Noah." I hear The Book is better.
I don’t necessarily enjoy being the bad influence…but hey, somebody has to do it!
If I`m not back in ten minutes ... then just wait longer.
I grew up for this?
If pigs could fly.. Would I be able to get high on bacon?
Quick Hide! Monday is Coming!!
I once had the desire to do something worthwhile with my life. Then I discovered naps.
A coworker just wrote "Retard" on the windshield of my car. It`s taken me over an hour to lick it off!
I can cope with voices in my head but the voices outside my head drive me crazy.
Guess it`s time to get to the part of the day I hate... the part which requires pants.
What was that idiot thinking when he invented white underwear?