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Actually I don`t think it would be all that hard to get out of a pickle.
You know what’s funny? Lot’s of sh!t. Loosen up already.
The woman in the Superman underwear next to me does not quite understand how white pants work.
Here hold my dignity, I`ve got some sketchy shit to do.
Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.
This looks like a job for Superman! -unemployed Superman reading the classifieds
If I owned a copy store I would only hire identical twins.
Hey, guy from the gym with lifting gloves still on, you can take them off now, you`re in Starbucks.
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
Just so you know, when you repeat what you just said I won`t be listening then either.
The hardest part of carving a pumpkin nowadays is finding some newspaper to spread
And today I learned to never ask a woman how she dye`s her roots black.
I hate when people passive-aggressively post vague, indirect statuses. You know who you are...
Having a pen!s is like having a friend that always wants to play.
I pulled my wife`s panties to the side.......then put the rest of her socks in the drawer.