Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The face jewelry is getting out of hand. I saw a guy today that looked like he had done a face plant in a tackle box.
This cat poop tastes like I`m about to get yelled at -Dogs
Do you guys dance in the shower too? This morning I did the robot! (I short circuited and stared at the wall for 40 minutes, broken)
If you think people are stupid, randomly post "Happy Birthday" wishes on peoples FB page and see how many others tell them happy birthday.
My last relationship was a lot like The Notebook. It felt like it lasted forever and we both wanted to die towards the end.
Tuna are probably pretty annoyed with how much we worry about catching dolphins in our tuna nets.
Minnesota is my favorite state that sounds like it`s a small soft drink.
Gun Control: Use both hands
Since you no longer have a calendar I`d like to notify all the Mayans that it has been one year since the end of the world.
Who needs the weather network when you have Facebook.
There are two types of people...don`t worry you are not one of them.
When I was a kid, I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it really is.
A fun way to "Break up" is to tell them to "Go long" and then never throw them the football.
Before I stalk someone, I follow them around for a while...Cause you know, what if they`re not worth it?
Of all the advice given to me over the years, “There really is no bad time for a beer” has proved to be the most helpful.