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Getting married at 22 sounds alot like leaving the party at 9:30
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
The object of golf.... is to play the least amount of golf.
If you are used to seeing a fat, naked guy walk around his house, then you are probably my neighbor.
Yeah, you go ahead and climb that mountain "because it`s there", I am going to eat this Pizza "because it`s here"................................
Proof that getting kicked in the nuts is worse than giving birth. Girls often say, yeah I`d have another baby. Guys never ask to get kicked in the nuts again.
“But I read somewhere…” -me about to make some sh!t up.
Water is life; without it we wouldn’t have coffee, whiskey or beer.
I must have a great butt because every time I finish talking with someone and start to walk away, I hear them whisper "What an a$$."
What if "I`m coming out with a new scent" was just a way for famous people to warn others that they were about to fart?
I hate being bipolar, it`s great .
Christmas is truly a magical time. It`s made all my money disappear!
My chemistry teacher asked us what the heaviest metal was today. Apparently "Megadeath" was the wrong answer.
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a girl who`s free for the weekend.
It’s sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his crappy ACME gadgets, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.