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For those of you wondering what it`s like to be married, I`m on day 3 of an argument I didn`t know I was having.
Yes, bitches be trippin’ but maybe I pushed one.
just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream
People that chew gum and drink alcohol what the f*ck is wrong with you.
I learn something new every day that I didn`t want to know.
I like to reply to late night snapchat selfies with "what the f*&% is that behind you?!" just because I know the sender has no way to review the photo and will spend the rest of their night scared out of their minds.
A Positive attitude may not solve all our problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort!
is easily distracted by shiny objects.
I grew up in a town where the population never changed… Every time a girl got pregnant, a guy left town
sex is like a joke, some get it some don`t.....
The three most terrifying words a woman can utter to a man are "notice anything different?"
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there`s a millionaire walking around that invented the pool noodle.
Single ladies, stop saying you should just give up & get a cat , if no man wants you , don`t force an innocent cat to live with you..
I know u r but what am I ?
"I love you unconditionally*." -God *certain terms and conditions apply. See Bible for more details.