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Got caught up in a really good book last night. I didn`t stop coloring till 2 o`clock this morning.
Guess when toothpaste was invented? 1892. Guess when kissing was invented? A DISGUSTINGLY LONG TIME BEFORE THAT.
Dear food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.
I just shaved my legs. I think I lost three pounds.
Actually baby, diamonds are a girls best friend, so technically I slept with your second best friend
Because of tanning beds, 1000 years from now archaeologists will think we used to fry people as punishment.
Guys, if my hair doesn`t look like a birds nest afterward, you`re doing it wrong.
buying an old Mercedes Benz so that people may think you have been rich all along
Dodgeball, but with random people who don`t know that they are playing..............
I know I`ve had enough to drink when I have to concentrate to blink.
Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you`re standing outside watching your house burn.
I`ve never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.
Ignoring things don`t make them go away, it makes them drunk dial you.
In my day we had to roll the windows up and down with our bare hands.
Alright, I give up! I`ve listened to the song like 50 times now, and I still don`t know what the fox is saying!