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Sorry I got drunk and angry and said all those things I meant but still shouldn`t have said.
A lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided, if they had built their towns big enough for another person
Relax, we`re all crazy. It`s not a competition.
If you want to preview of the new iPhone 8 and try it out for free before buying it just look at your iPhone 7 and pretend it cost several hundred dollars more.
Fellas.....the girl on the flyer is never at the club
If you really want to impress me with the year a bottle of wine was made, bring me one from 2024....
I made a salad with red wine vinaigrette only I left out the vinegar and the oil and ok it`s just lettuce with wine all over it. Anyhoo, I`m drunk.
When I die, I want a cellphone in my coffin…just in case.
University; It`s like being unemployed, but your parents are proud of you.
I dated this musician who used to play songs for me over the phone. Then I realized he was just putting me on hold.
Just saw the first duckface of Spring.
"Hello 911?" "Someone just stole my status on Facebook... yes, I`ll hold."
Please help control the pet population, have that special talk with your pet!
Thank God for Facebook otherwise we would never know what fireworks look like.
I`ve just been watching a documentary on marijuana...... I think all documentaries should be watched this way.