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I just had a conversation with my-self...but it just turned into an argument. I think it`s that time of the month...
Men like football because the priorities in football are also the biggest priorities in every man’s life…. Scoring and Ball Security.
The only thing I love more than cake is cakes.
It hurts when you goto unfriend someone only to discover they beat you to it
Sure you can try and tell me what to do. Or you can keep your teeth.
Whats the definition of a tree? Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver.
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
According to my neighbor`s rooster, it`s 5am now. Also according to my neighbor`s rooster, we`re having fried chicken for dinner tomorrow.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."
You`re an intellectual who doesn`t read books? I completely understand because I`m an athlete that rarely moves.
She asked me to make her feel special so I gave her a helmet and crayons.
I`ve decided to take some time off Facebook so I can focus on work and, ok, I`m back
My wife complains about everything I do. It`s like she doesn`t know there are "Sexy singles in my area" that want to meet with me.
This girl is ignoring me like a check engine light.
Porn & love songs. Destroying reality forever.