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"Ho, Ho, Ho!" -Santa Claus/Pimp, doing a head count.
After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. At least for the pictures...
There are too many people who could ruin my life by posting a screenshot of a text conversation we’ve had.
Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their GODS lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.
That moment when you pour yourself a bowl of cereal and discover there`s no milk. So you just sit there, wondering why bad things happen to good people?
I did not steal your drink. You abandoned it and I rescued it.
I just assume that when a restaurant automatically adds 15% to the bill for a tip that the service is going to suck.
The longer I`m left unattended in the Drs office the more tongue depressors I can lick and put back in the jar..... Just sayin
A girl updated her facebook status saying: All men are dogs and I commented • Which breed is your dad?
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
So the Boy Scouts are going to let girls join. Teenage boys and girls camping in the woods together. What could possibly go wrong?
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell. :)
Benefits of hooking up with me: You will be hooking up with me. I could go on but I think I made my point.
The only people without problems are in the cemetery.
In life you will meet all sorts of people, happy, moody, shy, loud, weird, and then there`s me So deal with it mmuhaaaaaaaahaaahaaaa that`s right !