Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If there is no chocolate in heaven...I AM NOT GOING!
My interventions would be so much more effective if every single reason I drink wasn`t there
Urgh..I just dropped my phone, are you guys alright?
Marriage is for quitters
I wonder if the Happy Birthday wishes I send out to my Facebook friends would mean the same to them if they knew that I was sitting on the toilet.... LOL
I`ve been taking viagara for my sunburn........ It doesn`t cure it...... but it does keep the sheets off my legs at night.
Seems like we would be just fine with about half as many types of pasta
The best way to make a bad day better is by adding alcohol.
My favorite breed of dog? Good question, thanks for asking. Either a corndog or a hotdog.
I took part in the sun tan world championships this weekend. I got bronze.
I`m under the weather today, also so is everyone else, that`s how weather works.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don`t show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills.
Some people`s lives are like open books... Mine is like a trashcan without a lid.
Conversation between Adam and Eve must have been difficult at times because they had nobody to talk about.
It`s always the rednecks that know all the inner most conspiracies of the government.