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Partying on my level requires years of training.
For every bad idea you have, I’m always there to tell you…I’m in.
Stupidity should be painful...really!!!
I fart because it`s the only gas I can afford.
B!tch, I will slap you by accident on purpose.
I don`t know why people say "your guess is as good as mine"? ..because my guesses are always better. ;)
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can´t remember the other two.
I haven`t crunched all the numbers, but early calculations show that a large percentage of people don`t care what you think.
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore
My package finally came today. this is awesome....it means I have bubble wrap to play with
Whenever I see a celebrity photobomb, I`m like, that`s so relatable. I too constantly ruin moments and think I`m more fun than I actually am
So it turns out being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
Somebody just gave me a free air guitar..... No strings attached
When someone hands you a flyer, it’s like they’re saying here you throw this away.