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Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
This status was brought to you by me being bored on the toilet.
That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow
Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
"Don`t make me regret this." -things I think when accepting a friend request.
I think pet shops should give a free laser pointer with every Cat purchase.
Sometimes I wanna copy someone´s status word for word and see if they notice.
I often wondered what it`d be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while...
I am the bestest at the English language...
Some days there just isn`t enough give-a-damn.
Someone just called me normal, I`ve never been so insulted in all my life!
I`m probably not going to get accepted into the optimist club.
If I`m in a public bathroom and someone else in that same bathroom is on the phone and states that they are ANYWHERE ELSE, I flush my toilet
I`m on that “Starts tomorrow” diet.
Home is where the alcohol is.