Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
When in doubt, just do the opposite of whatever the person wearing pajamas in public is doing.
I used to date this girl that worked at Hasbro, but I finally got sick of all her games.
The trouble with children is that they´re not returnable.
I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.
Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you`ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief
It`s almost 2014, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
The skinny girl inside me once tried to come out. I shut that b*tch up with a cupcake
The filling in this fortune cookie tastes like paper...
Do you have to water a Pointsettia or do they die on their own?
Early reports indicate I`m gonna be drunk all weekend.
I`d like to thanks all the girls for wearing yoga pants. It is the only reason why we`re not complaining about how cold this winter it
Energy conservation activists would get more attention if they called themselves power rangers.
Remember when you thought you’d have it all together by the time you were the age you are now? LOL