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Saw a guy with flames tattooed all over his face. I hope someday he finds a girl who has marshmallows tattooed all over hers.
Look at the keyboard. It has `U` and `I` together. Look underneath that. It says `JK`.
Whenever I pick my Grandma up from the airport, I leave my left blinker on during the entire drive so she feels more comfortable.
The good thing about being tall is, you can`t get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can`t get lost in a crowd.
No one asks the tough questions, like why are drug dealers on the metric system?
I`m sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew..
Saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons last night. ..Must be going through a tough period in her life.
Just saw a guy with a Support Dyslexia bumper sticker on the front of his car.
Normal people scare me ... But not as much as I scare them. :)
The recommended age to have a Ouija Board is 8+ years old. So, you need to be 21 years old to drink alcohol and 8 to summon the devil.
Happy Monday!! I`m gonna sit this one out.
We played a lot of "Keep The Balloon In The Air" as kids, a game known to most other people as being poor.
If you didn`t want me looking in your bedroom than you never should have put your window at the same height as my ladder.
I wanna lie on the floor and not think for a month or two.
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but the more important question is, how did they get in there in the first place?