Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Starting an international incident is number one on my bucket list.
I wish I had a friend like me
Sit-ups are my favorite form of exercise because I get to lay down every few seconds.
I`m not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes.
I just responded to a text message with: I can`t hear you, you`re breaking up.
just read a list of "the 100 things to do before you die." I´m pretty surprised "yell for help" wasn´t one of them.
“Nevermind.” Translation... You should’ve listened the first time.
I thought I was feeling a little bloated today, turns out I had my underwear on backwards.
If anyone is interested, I’ll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 1:00 PM until I’m escorted out by security.
4 out of 5 dead husbands agree that last casserole tasted really strange.
I always like seeing those "Baby on Board" stickers because it`s nice to see agreeable babies out there.
The internet...turning cowards into tough guys daily.
I think I speak for everyone when I say we hate being spoken for.
If by cat person you mean I like to sleep all day and poo in sand then yes I am a cat person.
Having the worst day ever. All traffic lights I passed were green so I had to stop on the side of the road to check my Facebook like some caveman.