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If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I`d just laugh and search with them.
United States is where moms get a day and shark get a whole week.
Chess says everything about men & women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks.
If Apple made a car, would it have windows?
when is humpty dumpty going to hatch?
The key to any successful marriage is separate TVs.
I just awesomed all over the place.
9 year olds have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop, & a Facebook… When I was 9, I felt cool with my new markers.
I may be crazy but I say if you can`t talk to yourself, who can you talk to.
I start a lot of conversations with "goodbye" in hopes that I trick people into thinking we already talked.
I just heard "Eye of the Tiger" and now I`m motivated to conquer the world. Or at least get out of my pajamas.
I’m not a “stalker”. I want to make sure you’re okay at all times. You can look at me as an unpaid bodyguard.
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.
I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn`t care.....Ceiling fan: 6 Me: 0