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You can tell a lot about a womans mood by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she`s probably angry.
So much for the saying, 3rd times a charm, I just checked my Mega Millions ticket for the 3rd time, and still nothing.
Cold? Try Netflix. You’ll still be cold, but you’ll be watching Netflix.
If you don`t think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you`re probably the boss
I yawn all day at work & school. But when it comes to at night, I’m not tired at all.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
Just farted in 3 different languages! Thanks, Rosetta Stone!
It`s just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name...
Blockbuster sell sweets and ice cream to go with your DVD rental - who the hell wants to rent sweets and ice cream?
Is it just me, or that sea witch Ursula from the Little Mermaid inspired from a full blown flamboyant drag queen?
It is a sad day when you go to all the trouble of getting a Frontal Lobotomy and no one notices.....................
My package finally came today. this is awesome....it means I have bubble wrap to play with
OMG guys!! im so happy!! the doctors just gave me a jacket so im always hugging myself!!
I just had a threesome in the shower with Johnson and Johnson.
I`m hungry, but I`m not `cook something` hungry.