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Life was much simpler when we could play a friendly game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn’t like.
is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
Cranked the treadmill up to MAX for 15 minutes. When I finally took a break my roller skates were hot to the touch.
We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.
Any hedge can be a maze if you are drunk enough.
Of all the lies I tell, "I was just kidding!" is my favorite.
Definitely never want to own a small fruit stand in an action movie.
You’d think after all these beauty pageants, we would have world peace by now.
Keep your friends close and your fat friends closer, because snacks.
YOU KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!!
I just lost my mood ring, I don`t know how I feel about that.
My friend thinks he`s so smart. He said onions are the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.
If by "crunches" you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then yes, I do crunches.