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Was sitting and doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
Sometimes I think "What would Dexter do"?
Love means never being able to like another girl’s selfie on Instagram ever again.
I`m not saying we should kill all the incompetent people. I`m simply suggesting we remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.
Went for a mile run today. Stupid Ice Cream Man just kept driving even though I was waving my money in the air!
Literally saw someone get a tattoo of a camel on their toe.
My girlfriend left a note on the fridge, "It`s not working. I cant take it anymore, I`m going to moms" I opened the fridge, the light came on, the beer was cold, WTF is she talking about?
My friends are weird. They keep vegetables in their beer crisper. Freaks
To a cop, doing donuts in a parking lot has a whole different meaning.
Let`s be honest... Gay Divorce Court would be the best thing to happen to daytime TV in the history of ever.
If a post is really good you will read it twice. if a post is really good you will read it twice.
I’m in big trouble if my coworkers find out that I really don’t have Tourette’s
These bar stools are creaky!! [continues to fart on first date]
My bedroom is perfect for a one night stand, but there’s no room for two night stands.