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I`m super lazy today! Which is like normal lazy, but I`m also wearing a cape.
Change of plans everyone: NOBODY Wang Chung tonight.
I`m at the age where I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous
It saddens me to say that after tasting this homemade whiskey/nacho cheese ice cream, I’ve found not all dreams are meant to be followed.
Siri, destroy the vehicle in front of me.
People assume when I yawn that I’ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey, but I’ve turned myself around.
Soup of the day: Tequila.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because for a few miles they believed you were the real bus driver.
Fun Fact: You can win all arguments with your man by putting on yoga pants and walking away.
Laptop speakers, too quiet for music, too loud for porn.
I was born at a very early age.
It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them,The police call it indecent exposure but whatever...
I was born to be happy… not normal.
I`ve finally stopped drinking for good ... And I`ve started drinking for evil.