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When I say "It`s a long story," it doesn`t mean it`s actually a long story. It means I just don`t want to tell you.
If I had a time machine, I’d probably just use it so I wouldn’t have to throw out so many bananas.
my ex girlfriends started they`re own website they call it two faced book...
the kids next door challenged me to a water fight. I`m just updating my status while the kettle boils
Sometimes getting unfriended on Facebook is magical....really....it`s like the trash took itself out.
Some people should be very grateful I don`t have mob connections.
Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
I wish I had the kind of life my spam folder thinks I have!
Today is that day where anything you read online could be totally made up. Oh, wait, that`s every day.
Teacher: Have a seat! Student: Thanks! *picks up the chair and leaves* -- (°_°)
The police are taking me downtown for an interview and I didn`t even apply for the job.
Life is like a teenager`s p@nis. some are short, some are long, but it is always hard.
I wonder if I could get a job as a babysitter if I referenced my Facebook group admin experience.
The fastest way to being happy is to make other people happy. You go first.