Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You poor thing. You don`t even realize you`re batsh!t crazy, do you?
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo
That`s not chapstick in my front pocket.
I walked into a bar in my pirate suit and a ships wheel in my pants.... The bartender asked... "Why do you have a wheel in your pants"? I replied "Argh.. it`s driving me nuts".
Boss: Why aren`t you working? Me: I didn`t see you coming!
Do Starbucks employees take coffee breaks?
Sunglasses: I don’t want to make awkward eye contact with certain people.
That moment when you think you know somebody then they pull out an entirely new bag of stupid.
If you`re feeling too good about yourself, go ask a 5 yr old to guess your age. That should even things out.
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
Well, just 8 more hours of Facebook and I can go back to bed. *phew*
I thinking about how im disgusted by holding a gas pump but yet, I have no problem drinking my beer from a cup that ten other people drank out of, and a backwash covered ping pong ball was just thrown into it after hitting a dirty a$$ garage floor??
Women fall in love by what they hear. Men fall in love by what they see. That’s why most women wear makeup and most men lie.
I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.
The early bird gets the worm! So does the late bird. They all get worms all the time; there`s tons of those things. Relax, there will always be a lota worms......