Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Apparently getting injured while in the KISS Army doesn`t make you eligible for V.A. benefits.
The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.
My ex is living proof as to how stupid I can be.
Girls are like guitars: easy to strum, hard to tune
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
Alcohol doesn’t make you fat… it makes you Lean… on tables, chairs & random ugly people.
This recliner and I go way back.
Why do they call a status a status if it already happened? I mean, shouldnt it be called History?
Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy.
Buying an airline ticket is like paying shipping and handling for yourself.
Why can’t we all just get a Long Island Iced Tea?
I declare today, “Hit that dumb person you’ve always wanted to punch in the face day.”
I found that 99% of the time, when I`m not listening, just saying "that`s some bullshi*t" makes them happy.
"Better to be pissed off than pissed on!" Actually, I prefer a third scenario where I`m not angry or covered in piss.
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you? :D