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My email notification is a cricket sound that drives the wife crazy looking for the cricket. Winning!
My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update bar as the search bar on my browser.
People who live in glass houses should not throw orgies
The whole purpose of vacationing is to make you appreciate knowing where the channels are at home.
This one isnt that funny, keep scrolling.
My dog’s ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I’d like it to be.
Sometimes it would be nice if the world had an off switch.
Fun game for parents: Scream in horror the first time your child loses a tooth.
Wisdom for the day is , hot cheetos are not breakfast.
So apparently there are two types of white towels in my house. Ones to dry off and ones to touch if you want your fingers broke.
I`m not funny, I`m just really mean and people think I`m joking.
Of course the Pilgrims had a lot to be thankful for, all their in-laws were back in Europe.
If you could see what goes on inside my head, you would have nightmares for weeks!
Any way you can speed this up, officer? I`m obviously in a hurry.