Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why is it that whenever there`s two women in a profile pic, the hot one is always someone else..?
If Miley doesn`t get her sh!t together, all these Hannah Montana collectibles are never gonna get my kids through college.
Just found some old sex coupons I got from an ex for my b-day. Any of you ladies take competitor`s coupons?
Condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she`ll get your paychecks.
The key to any successful marriage is separate TVs.
They don`t seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts.
PRO TIP: If you see a woman crying, never ask if its because of her hair.
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can’t make coffee.
I could write an entire book on excuses,,, but I have to pick my grandma up at the airport.
Yes officer, I know my driving is not 100% perfect, but you have to agree that it is still pretty good for someone who is completely drunk.
I super glue one jar of pickles shut and leave it out at the barbecue then watch the humiliation unfold.
Are you reading this from a toilet? I`m writing this from one.
My advise to all the young people out there, "Do not grow up; it`s a trap!!"
No matter how fast you run, the serial killer always walks faster.
Turns out having boobs only gets you stuff if you don`t have a penis as well.