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I propose we change the names of the upper case P and lower case p to "P standing up" and "p sitting down."
Welcome to Alzheimer`s Club. I see a lot of new faces today.
Every day is a struggle between wanting to lose weight and wanting to eat my weight in pizza.
Guests are coming over for Thanksgiving... Almost time to booby trap the medicine cabinet with marbles.
Just heard a guy at the dog park tell his dog "NO!" and then more quietly, "We talked about this!"
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
The best things in life can`t be seen or touched. At least, that`s what the restraining order says.
The three most terrifying words a woman can utter to a man are "notice anything different?"
I`ve been working with this alcohol free program for like six months and it`s really taken a toll on me ... I mean, I`m broke and as far as I`m concerned, they can buy their own alcohol.
Dating a single mother.... It`s like continuing from somebody else`s saved game.
I went outside once. The graphics were amazing but the gameplay and storyline were TERRIBLE.
Whoever said “two wrongs don’t make a right” has obviously never experienced McDonalds breakfast after a night of binge drinking.
Dating tip: Men always remember the woman who vomited on them.
I`m great at balloon animals. You should see my eel, snake, and worm.
Technically, every picture is a before picture.