Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
common sense is like deodrant. the people who need it thr most never use it.
Have you noticed that tire stores never hang big banners that say "Blowout Sale"?
Stall Cleaning service, Satisfaction guaranteed or 100% or you manure back!
Is it just me or does chocolate taste even better late at night, hence the the last four letters of the word chocoLATE?!
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
Let`s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.
Show me a bunch of people with type A personalities, and I`ll show you a control group.
Stop complaining about the rain. Cause rain makes corn and corn makes whiskey.
My life may be a mess but at least I didn`t make a harlem shake video.
You are not stupid, I just think you have bad luck when thinking.
This year rather than candy for your valentine why not liquor instead.
I`m pretty sure if you watched a movie of my life backwards it probably would be about a guy who refills beer cans and puts them in the fridge.
We`ve spent years planning and preparing for the zombie apocalypse all for nothing......clowns....its gonna be clowns that finish us off.
Copy this and paste it in your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone.. If you don´t know anyone, or even if you´ve heard of someone who doesn´t know anyone, then do still copy this. It´s important to spread the message. Oh and the hearts ? ? ? ? For crap´s sake, don´t forget the hearts! ? ? ? ?
Due to political correctness issues, "Krazy Glue" will now be known as "Mental Disorder Glue."