Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ladys, if you`re in an argument with a guy and there`s no may to win. Start playing with your boobs...works every time.
I wrote you this love poem: Here, just take my credit card.
Dear Noah, we could have sworn you said the arc wasn`t leaving until 5. Sincerely, unicorns.
Kids today don`t know what hardship is. When I was younger I sometimes had to wait ALL DAY for MTV to play my favorite video.
When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life…
What if the lightbulb had never been invented? How would we know when someone has a really good idea?
I`m late on the give thanks every day in November thing... so let me catch up. Days 1-22. I`m thankful for boobs
wishes life would hand me lemons especially today.. that way I`d have something to throw at the people that are pissing me off
So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.
I don`t understand fat homeless people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
Congratulations! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
It`s so cold out I`ve turned 50 Shades Of Blue!
Be careful who you call friends. I`d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.
Bored? Simply send a text message to a random number saying..."I`m Pregnant!"
Statement: "Do you really love me?" True Meaning: "Ive done something stupid and youre going to find out sooner or later."