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Oh and BTW,,, Why haven`t Pig Pen`s parents been visited by child services yet?
I hope I never have to run for my life. It wouldn’t end well.
The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.
Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn`t appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.
"Do not touch" must be one of the scariest things to read in braille
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend
Before asking a hot chick out, I wish I could first talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
An apple a day will keep anyone away ... if thrown hard enough.
I wonder who was the first person to see an egg come out of a chicken`s booty and think..."I`m gonna eat that!"
Just shaved my legs for the first time since October...just kidding, it`s not warm enough for that yet.
I finally had the talk with my kids. I told them that in the wild animals eat their young so they better get their sh!t together.
Some girls post the most depressing love sh!t that even I`m starting to miss their ex!!!
I wonder if I could get a job as a babysitter if I referenced my Facebook group admin experience.
I snuck popcorn into the movie theatre but they won`t let me use their microwave.
"Oh!Look The Smurfs Grew Up!"Grandma those are Avatars." -_-