Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t talk to me about disappointment. I had lots of adults tell me they were gonna "fix my little red wagon" yet here it sits with a broken wheel still
Yes, your opinion matters ... But not to me.
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
sorry but your password must contain an "uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin"
They should make an app that tells me how many Oreos I can eat for every mile I jog.
There are 3 reasons for ”Liking” someone’s Facebook status: 1. I agree. 2. I realise this is about me, so I’m liking it to rub it in your face. 3. I want to bang you.
Still no news on the royal baby. One will assume its being delivered by Royal Mail
A man made eye contact with me on the train, so I left my shoe behind ... And now, we wait...
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people to send me a dollar.......
A guy at work calls me "Partner" and another guy calls me "Chief". Apparently we`re playing Cowboys and Indians and I`m a double agent.
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and then six months later you have to do it all over again.
You call it Sushi, I call it bait.
Pool is my favorite sport because you don`t have to run and there`s beer five feet away.
Pizza will never tell you you`re fat unless you`re high as sh!t, then pizza is probably suggesting you fight an aardvark to lose weight.
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin