Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish my money would have sex in my wallet and multiply
We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.
Heads up, peeps. There are over 700 fake Obamacare sites ready to swipe your info. Pro tip: The real site is the one that doesn`t work...
It`s amazing how many pedestrians confuse right-of-way with immortality.
Sunday morning = lazy lay in my bed and fart under my sheets all day :)
The only thing I hate worse than holding a girl`s purse is when it doesn`t match what I`m wearing.
Remember waffles are just pancakes ribbed for your pleasure
Impressing the McDonald’s drive thru people with my music is always a top priority.
I wish I could select all my responsibilities and press delete.
Porn teaches kids an unhealthy and unrealistic idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.
Why go to a public pool when strangers on Craigslist will pee on you for free
Spice up your Facebook experience by making your status updates your google searches.
Happy birthday to my Pet Rock who is 453,786,321 years old today!
They`re teaching kids that abstinence is 100% more effective in preventing pregnancy than birth control, try telling that one to Jesus`s mother!
You sure do seem to know a lot about love and relationships for someone who spends 22 hours a day on Facebook.