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I smile when I`m having dirty thoughts :)
Benefits of dating me: 1. You`re the smart one
I like restaurants because the people have to be nice and feed you.
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
I`m not saying your opinion is stupid, I`m just saying you`re stupid for having it
I’m late for a disappointment.
If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, muffins are healthy :) your welcome.
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
Shout out to all the ladies at church today in the same clothes from the club last night.
I didn`t break the rules. They were broken when I got here.
I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...
I’d slap you but I’m pretty sure they would call it animal cruelty.
Studies show than men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. See, it`s a survival thing.
If you think you have problems, remember that Malaysian man who told his wife he was flying to China... and now he can`t get out of his girlfriend`s apartment...
Trying to be less negative but it`ll never work.