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*licks finger, holds it up in the air* ah yes, just as I suspected. wind.
Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
Shhh...you had me at "alcohol may intensify effect..."
Not to cause a panic but i`m starting to think we`re running out of things to stuff inside pizza crust.
My ex wife claims I have "commitment issues" like I didn`t just wait in line for 30 minutes to get a hot dog at Costco.
I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
Change is hard. Seriously, have you ever bit a nickel?
I`m as bored as a guy with no arms looking at porn.
Debate?.....isn`t that what you use to catch "The Fish" ?
I`ve found the most effective way to get an attractive guy to fall for me is by simply using my charm... and then a stun gun.
Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on facebook. That was a close one.
A nice kid in the park informed me smoking was bad for you. So I popped his balloon with my cigarette and told him so was talking to strangers.
My kid go from "omg...you`re impossible I can`t wait until I`m 18!" To "You`re the best mom ever" in a matter of $100
I`m feeling 22.. Pounds overweight.
1. Pour milk on floor. 2. Ask which kid did it. 3. Send them to their rooms when they don`t admit it. 4. Enjoy peaceful evening.