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April 1st is the absolute worst day to have a heart attack.
I used to be a camera man in the porn industry but it became too hard...
Nothing says poor life choices like the guy with the half smoked cigarette behind his ear
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
How many Oreos is too many?...Is it 25?...I feel like it should be more than 25
Be nice to nerds. You`ll probably be working for them one day
I bet when Cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one goes, “Man, you’re such a Cheetah!” and they laugh & eat a zebra or whatever.
My brain contains a few things I should know and the rest is just song lyrics.
25% of of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. The other 75% are running around untreated.
Why do people have to get ready for bed? I’m always ready for bed
Size does matter ... When ordering a pizza
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
I don`t own a thesaurus, is `cock meat` a synonym for `fried chicken`?
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Probably a good thing I`m not a ghost cause I`d just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food.