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Steve Jobs is now working with God to make iWife... Beauty with brains and Mute button
Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
9 out of 10 husbands agree that their wives are always right. The 10th one hasn`t been seen since the study was conducted.
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.
During sex, my wife always wants to talk to me? Just the other night she called me from some hotel.
The awkward moment when you set something down for a second and it disappears off the face of the earth.
I`m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data
I finally figured out how to get rid of that annoying sound in my car. I opened the door and pushed her out!!
Pirates that used X to mark the spot were stupid. If they had used a G, nobody would ever have found their treasure.
Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
I know the light has changed twice people but I`m playing air drums until Moby Dick is over...sit back and enjoy the show please...
Hibernation should be a human thing too.
If I ever get arrested I am going to ask for a status update instead of a phone call.
I just don`t think a partridge in a pear tree would make a great gift
If banks were as fiercely regulated as McDonalds breakfast cut off time, there’d be no problems.