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A friend doesn`t question your motive, they just keep their mouth shut and dig.
Maybe early risers just aren’t as awesome at sleeping as I am.
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
The problem with trouble is that it always starts out as fun.
It is amazing how a nice pair of boobs can hide serious flaws and signs of mental illness until after you marry them!
Ah Friday...my second favorite "F" word!
Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated. Now I`m facing sexual harassment charges.
If you read your timeline backwards it is about a person who hates everything and gradually becomes happier until they get a life.
I can`t wait to procrastinate.
I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach for the cookies.
I bought one of the "Books for Dummies" for 50% off, but I needed help to figure out what the price was.
Beer is like sex. When it’s good it’s good…when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.
I always try to behave but there are usually too many other options.
I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...
"I understand your logic, but let`s try to look at this more emotionally." - women