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When your coworker tells you they are getting a divorce a high five is not the right answer. Or so I`ve been told. Twice now.
Sorry I`m late... I accidentally pulled the chain on the ceiling fan one too many times for like 9 hours straight.
I`ve been told my posts are too depressing but what does it matter. We`ll all be dead soon anyway.
Your family tree must look like a cactus........everybody on it is a pr!ck
I wonder if the clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look! ...that one`s shaped like an idiot!"?
Roses are Red Violets are Blue, If I had a brick, I`d throw it at you.
I can cope with voices in my head but the voices outside my head drive me crazy.
Every time the grocery baggers ask if I want help to my car, I feel like telling them yes and climbing in the cart.
I dig, she digs, he digs, they dig, we dig. its not a good poem but its really deep.
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
The most frustrating thing about watching Nascar is that they never signal
A cop just pulled me over and said papers - so I said scissors, I win and drove off.
Hey, did you know that in two days, tomorrow will be yesterday!
Here is a thought for all you mind readers out there…
I never think twice about helping others.In fact, I never think once about it.