Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Ladys, if you`re in an argument with a guy and there`s no may to win. Start playing with your boobs...works every time.
Why do medications always have side effects like `anal leakage` & `suicidal thoughts`? Why not `invisibility` or `spontaneous orgasms`?
So,do people in England speaks American now that people in America speaks English?
The best part of time travel will be sleeping until noon and making it to work on time at 8am.
If I was supposed to share them, they wouldn`t be called nachos.
can be sympathetic, empathetic, compassionate, welcoming, loyal, trust-worthy, forgiving, understanding, and giving. But not to today!
If I could get a firm grip on reality...I`d probably choke it.
Who decided to call the man purse a satchel and not a douchebag?
The best part about going to Wal-Mart is having the book aisles all to yourself.
How do you get in touch with the models in the pictures that come with the frame? I have an out of control, elaborate lie I need help with.
I am taking a shot for every β€œlike” I get on this status. Then again, I’m taking shots whether you bastards like it or not.
Millions of innocent coconuts are murdered each year so you can drink their nutritious blood you insensitive health freak
REPOSTED~WARNING~PLEASE READ! If someone comes to your door and asks you to remove your clothes,and dance with your arms in the air...~DO NOT DO THIS....~It is a SCAM~...They just want to see you naked....I wish I had known this yesterday....I feel so stupid now
Nothing says "I`ve already given up on this day" quite like a Taco Bell breakfast.
If only losing weight was as easy as losing my cell phone, my keys, my temper, or even my mind ... I`d be SO skinny!