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Do you think they still give out chips in Gambler`s Anonymous?
My nose is "running", that`s all the exercise I can handle for one day.......
United should roll out Rodeo Rewards where you get paid based on how long you are able to stay on the plane when you are chosen to volunteer.
Dogs lick each other`s butts to tell each other they like them. Just like politicians
If your camel toe looks like a elephants hoof, you might want to rethink the yoga pants.
Why is it called cliffhanger and not
Social Media Awkwardness: When people "like" a relationship status of being single by your ex instead of yours.
Congratulations! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
Pringles should make their containers like a Push Up Pop.
I say ” I shouldn’t be telling you this,” at the beginning of every conversation so people will listen to what I’m saying.
While wearing a bikini you show 90% of your body -But men are so polite, that they stare only at the covered places.
I`m done with tucking in shirts. Too many people complaining I`m invading their "personal space." LOL
When your wife says she needs a new broom it`s best not to ask if she broke the last one in a crash landing.
For our next trick, we should hack into North Korea`s TV system and put Jersey Shore on repeat...
To help reduce cost, this status was typed in china.