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Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
Cubic Zirconium`s slogan should be: Guys can fake it too!
I decided I`m going to be poor... Its Cheaper :)
Where do I see myself in 5 years? May 2019. Next question.
Exercise would be so much more rewarding if calories screamed while you burn them.
If I owned an auto collision shop, I’d name it “Auto Correct.”
I answered the door in my underwear. That WAS the tip, pizza guy!
If you`re married and having trouble, ask "what would Jesus do?" then remember that jesus was never married.
It’s hard to tell if I’m dealing really well with life these days or if I just don’t give a sh!t.
How come phones only get lost when they are on silent?
that akward moment when you finish doing your thing in the toilet and you realise there is no tissue
I wonder if the two guys arguing over r2d2 and roadrunner ever get laid.
Your secrets are safe with me because I zone out everytime you speak.
My bank statement is just a visual record of bad decisions.
It`s not karma, you`re just an idiot.