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My head says “go to the gym” but my heart says, “stay on the internet forever and eat!”
The face jewelry is getting out of hand. I saw a guy today that looked like he had done a face plant in a tackle box.
My greatest talent is being able to watch 5 years worth of a TV shows in one week.
If I agree with you, we would both be wrong.
Detroit and Chicago seem to be getting it right as of late. Limit all politicians to two terms. One in elected Office and one in prison.
Pretty considerate of germs to count all the way to five before jumping on the food we drop.
Hey.. The tequila I drank wants to tell you a secret.
Blacking out when you’re drunk is god’s way of telling you that it’s none of your business what you do when you’re drunk.
I love when people dig their own grave. It saves me so much time.
One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
I was standing in front of the mirror earlier, admiring my six pack for hours. But it got really warm so I put it back in the fridge.
I could be a morning person....if morning happened around noon.
Some people wonder why I never like or comment on their posts. It’s because I unfollowed you a long time ago.
It`s the little things in life that count, like pills.
I have nothing!