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No I don`t think you`re stupid, I just think you have real bad luck when it comes to thinking
Ya Know, if I was Jessie`s Girl. I would of dumped Jessie for Rick Springfield!!
Some people say having a child is the best experience in the world. These people obviously never had 2 thing fall from a vending machine at once.
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
"Okay" means you`re in the clear. "K" means you`re better off not coming home. Fellas, you know what I`m talking about.
My doctor says each piece of bacon takes 9 minutes off your life... If my math is right, I should`ve died in 1781...
At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, I`ll never know.
Man I wanna throw a book at someones face and be like "I Facebooked you!"
It won`t be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It will be my inability to know when I should or shouldn`t laugh at something.
i got a dig bick..........how many read that wrong
I can`t help but smile when I see a woman wearing a Supertramp Concert t-shirt
I always get this dream where I`m driving in reverse ...Then I wake up and see that I`m driving normally.
"Don`t let a hot date turn into a due date."--my father`s actual sex talk with me when I was 13.
If I lived everyday like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.
I sure could help a lot of needy people if I won the big Powerball draw. Mainly sales people needing a commission, but still...