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I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and the internet.
Collecting my thoughts… I almost have a whole set! ;)
FINALLY home from work! So, yea...if your phone number is on your profile...I will be drunk dialing you in about 30 minutes or so.
How to tell if a woman is mad at you: 1.She`s quiet 2.She`s yelling 3.She acts the same 4.She acts different 5.She murdered you
A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it’s sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can’t really touch anything.
Well, if anything, the Mayans did teach us one valuable lesson. If you don`t finish something...it`s really not the end of the world.
That weird feeling when you wake up from a nap & you don`t whether it`s am or pm or what day, month, or year it is.
I don`t understand why people have to "get ready" for bed....I`m always ready for bed.
When I`m not sleepy, I listen to some Chris Brown. That knocks me out right away.
My favorite Yoga Pose is the Upward Facing Couch Potato.
"Thank God!!! They are finally taking these damn rubber bands off." -The last thing a lobster thinks.
ATTENTION: Upon further consideration, I am once again pushing back the debut of my summer beach bod. Thank you for your patience.
You never know how little self control you have until they put chips and salsa in front of you at a Mexican restaurant.
Oops, I must have put my personalities on "shuffle"
I´m up way too early for someone who wasn´t planning on seizing the day.