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The first rule of selfie club should be to clean your room.
They might want to put a picture of that airplane on a milk carton.
I have this great midnight snack it`s called, what do I think my roommate won`t notice if I eat the edges off of
I always stop to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porno starts off!
My girlfriend wanted me to show her a good time, so I showed her pictures of me before we met.
I am busier than a one legged man in an arse kicking contest.
My wife sure is picky for someone who married me.
Social networking sites is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves
ATTENTION LADIES: I will now be downgrading expectations from someone I can love to someone I can tolerate. Act now while this amazing deal still lasts!
When people say, "You look familiar," i like to reply with, "Do you watch porn?"
I always try to behave but there are usually too many other options.
never realized how awkward it is to study the reproductive system in a coffee shop.. until now.
It`s the weekend!!! I haven`t been this excited since my phone got stuck on vibrate.
So Apple is gonna buy Beats by Dr. Dre... I guess "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" doesn`t apply to technology?
A secret is what you tell everyone not to tell anyone else.