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Pornography only gets called by its full name when it`s in trouble too.
The human body is roughly 60% water. I`m not fat, I`m flooded.
The adult version of Operation is trying not to break a tortilla chip while dipping it into a jar of salsa.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
I wonder if any Disney managers ever start a meeting off with "What kind of Mickey Mouse operation are we running around here?"
can be sympathetic, empathetic, compassionate, welcoming, loyal, trust-worthy, forgiving, understanding, and giving. But not to today!
From now on, all of my posts will be written in Morgan Freeman`s voice. Please re-read this one to make sure it`s working.
I dreamt I was you..I hated myself. Luckily I woke up..woah that was close.
I have a fear of elevators, but I have an even greater fear of exercise.
At this age, I drive everything like I stole it because sometimes I forget which car is mine.
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It`s not hard.
When is National Slap a Co-worker Day? ... Please say tomorrow
Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
Sometimes I wish people would just bring donuts to work instead of drama.
While it was raining today, I thought for fun I would run out there and scream "I`m melting I`m melting!"