Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Redneck word of the day: Twerk "Imma have one more beer then imma get back twerk!"
I am trying my very best to get into the holiday spirit but I cant open the damn bottle.
This status was brought to you by me being bored on the toilet.
India launched a rocket to Mars yesterday… That’s a heck of a place to put a call center.
Pizza will never tell you to apologize to your mother in law
Ever get the feeling someone is watching you when you sleep? Yeah, sorry about that.
Sometimes I like to hold the door for people who are far away so they feel obligated to run just a little. ;)
I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
I`m happy, but not "Oprah just told me to look under my chair" happy.
My boss doesn’t like it when I play slavery songs at work….
If you see me laughing like a crazy person, think nothing of it ..it`s just the voices in my head telling me jokes!
Depresso; the feeling you get when you`ve run out of coffee.
I bet if you look up dictionary in the dictionary it says "don`t be an a$$hole"
Look!!! I am always here for you no matter what,OK? unless there is something good on tv or I`m eating pie