Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.. and if I do, I’ll tell them not to tell anyone.
This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. Were this to be an actual emergency you’d be screwed, because no one takes this seriously.
Gift cards: The best way to say "Here, you figure it out..."
So.. who else is sleeping naked tonight?
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
I met a girl who told me that she broke up with her last boyfriend because he just didn`t work out. Which is when I knew, she wasn`t the one for me, as I hate to work out as well.
We had a power outage last week and my PC, TV and games console shut down immediately, so I had to talk to my family for a few hours. They seem like nice people.
I like to make up words just to keep my auto correct in check.
Nice try "Private Caller", but I wont`t answer even if I know you.
If you ain`t laughin, you ain`t livin!
Did you know? If you were to watch all of the Saw films, it would take you 666 minutes?
You`re telling me, a chicken fried this rice
It`s a lot easier to chuck a co-worker in the dumpster than it is to listen to his problems.
I went somewhere earlier and saw a frog parked illegally and the poor thing got toad!!
Life is basically just a constant effort to not be disgusting.