Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Drying out wet fireworks in the oven is not a good idea. Trust me on this
The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone.
Is it polite or rude to slide a note into the bathroom stall next to you that says, "heard you farting but it`s ok you`re in the right place :)"
Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they`re all like "we need to talk."
Shout out to old people for graduating high school without Google.
I like telling people to "grow up" because even if they hate me I can visit them ten years later and say "Took my advice I see"
If people rode their spouses like they did their brakes the divorce rate would drop drastically.
A party without Vodka is just a meeting.
I suffer from premature procrastination. It’s when you procrastinate before even receiving a task.
I`m not a bitch, I just have a low bullsh!t tolerance.
Save water- shower with me!
Dear Vegetarians, Thanks for saving the good food for us.
Thanks to my mom, I put my name on all of my underwear so they`re easier to spot when I go through the bar`s lost and found box.
It’s called a “remote” because those are your odds of finding it when you want to change the channel.
Calories: the little creatures that go into your closet every night and hem the waistline of all your clothes inch by inch