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I took a sexual harassment course yesterday...I think I`m going to be pretty good at it.
Iβm sorry, your photo is so confusing. Youβre gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp whatβs going on here.
I use to be addicted to soap, but now I`m clean
I`m not lazy I just really enjoy doing nothing!!
"I don`t care if you think it sounds gross, that`s what we`re calling it" -Guy who named the sweater.
Randomly print things to give your co-workers the impression youβre working.
If video games have taught me anything, it`s that you`ll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss.
When I get a prescription for drugs, I don`t ask, `Will it work? Are there any side effects?` No, it`s `Can I drink with these?`
"Iowa man arrested after fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches" - I`m just gonna assume this is 1 of you guys
I don`t want to brag or make anybody jealous, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
No matter where you live, thereβs always 1 light switch that doesnβt do anything.
This day needs more yesterday.
canΒ΄t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
I drank so much vodka last night I woke up with a Russian accent.
Nothing says IDGAF like an old lady at a slot machine wearing oxygen and smoking a cigarette.