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Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
Instead of “single” as a relationship option, it should read “independently owned and operated”
My son asked what he should say if a bully said to give him his lunch money. I said tell him you left it on his moms nightstand.
Why isn`t there a roomba that cuts grass? Probably some stupid law about sending a blade wielding robot out into the neighborhood.
Shake up a random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it.
I was called a sexist today ... I said, I think you`re mistaken ...its pronounced sexy
I quit my job with the Dept of Corrections. That place was like a prison...
I read in a book somewhere that we only use 12% of our brains....I wonder what the other half is for?
A man who scratches his butt should not bite fingernails!
Just once, I`d like to clock out from work by sliding down a dinosaur.
I get in this weird mood where I don’t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood ‘Awake’
Being able to read minds would be incredible...but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old.
Hey Monday+?+(???) +?+
Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.
I keep my land line so I can find my cell phone.