Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m amazed at how much better my life has been since the iOS 7 update. I bet it would be even better if I owned an iPhone.
Dear college students, Sorry about your GPA. - Netflix
Remember that there’s always someone cooler, smarter, stronger or sexier than you. That would be me.
I slammed the car door on my fingers this afternoon. In related news, there`s an 83% chance that my nephew just added "Mother*ucker" to his vocabulary.
That`s a horrible idea ... What time?
The problem with the general public is that it`s made of people.
I`m at my best mathematically when I wake up before the time my alarm is set for
OH I´m sorry! I didn´t realise you were giving me a dirty look. I just thought you were ugly like that all the time!
My kids are giving all the people on this airplane a hard lesson in birth control right now.
The best black Friday deal ... sleep - $0.
Finding a date on the internet is so much easier than real life because how are they supposed to know that`s not your Ferrari?
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I’d take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k … I don’t think I can run that far!
Dear Cashier, you should stop giving me attitude and acting like you`re job is so complicated and stressful....Self-Checkout has proven that pretty much Anyone can do your job.
The problem with drinking with people from work is they`re the ones I bitch about when I`m drunk.