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OH NO !,,,,,,,,, I just realized I can`t stop calling the addiction hotline....
Just heard about the Obamacare deadline and I`m freaking out. I have so many questions. Who is Obama?
There`s a big difference between knowing what time the liquor store closes, and what time it opens.
The early bird catches the worm. And the late bird catches one of the other trillion worms left. What`s your point?
Those who stir the sh*t-pot should be made to lick the spoon!
I wonder how long I`ll be skinny from all this dieting and juicing I`ve been doing. 1 month? A year? A couple of ye....ooh look cake.
It was so cold today the local flasher was caught "describing" himself to women.
FACT: The higher pitched my "hey!" the greater the chance I don`t remember who you are.
I don`t think I can call myself an adult until I can accept the fact that "dry clean only" is not a dare.
The only thing Facebook has ever done for me is make me realize a lot of my friends are idiots.
Every time I`m not with my kid and someone asks me "Where`s the baby?" I just yell "Oh crap!" and run in the direction I came from.
I tried yoga and I think my downward dog looked more like winnie the pooh getting stuck in rabbit`s door.
How long do I have to lay on the couch in the same position before I can call it "yoga"?
You know you`re a mom when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.