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It’s the getting ahead that I’m running behind on.
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
If you don`t boo at people after bad sex, how do you expect to motivate them to get better?
It`s hard to diet when your favorite exercise is chewing...
I won the Twister contest hands-down.
I said I was good at making decisions. I didn`t say the decisions I made were good.
The judge says I`m a repeat offender, but he always says that.
Apparently, when people say "I could use a hand" it doesn`t mean they want to get slapped in the face.
So impolite of people to sneak up on you while you’re talking sh!t about them.
Anybody else have those FB friends that set up a FB account 4 years ago and posted once or twice and hasn`t been back on since? And you wonder how they can exist without a Life?
Okay I`m going to workout. Should I post about it now or after I`m done?
Life gave me onions ... Onionade sucks.
You know you drank too much last night when you have to use google maps to locate yourself the next morning.
Holy sh!t Karma, how much longer till we`re all squared up?
Square box. Round pizza. Triangle slices. I`m Confused.