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You know it`s been a good day when you finally take your pajamas off - and put some new ones on.
It`s okay, Web MD. I don`t really know what`s wrong with me either.
+ if you wish you could record your dreams.
Whoever said "Lets do that" in the meeting for the pop-tarts without frosting, should be fired
I`m glad the Dentist calls me the day before to remind me to cancel my appointment.
Shout out to sidewalks. Thanks for keeping me off the streets.
Do gun manuals haue a trouble shooting section?
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren`t happy.
What if your soulmate is over there on Twitter while you`re here on Facebook?
Treat your mom to a margarita this mothers day! Remember you`re the reason she drinks.
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
I hate waiting until I`m dead. I want to haunt people now dammit.
"Be strong" I whisper to my coffee.
Don`t you hate it when you`re typing something and you`re thinking about something else so then you subconsciously type what you were boobies.
I feel that being a smarta$$ is my duty. The pay sucks, but the work is very rewarding.