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I`ve always wondered how the job application process at Hooters works. Do they give you a bra and orange shorts and say, "Here, can you fill these both out"?
Why isn’t “cheating” a relationship status on Facebook?
I wonder how seaworld would react if I walked in there with a fishing pole....
FYI: Real hippos at the zoo don’t eat marbles. They should post a sign or something.
This by far is your most f*ck up idea ever ... I`ll be there in 10 minutes.
The bed is always the comfiest right at the time you are supposed to be getting out of it
is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I´m awesome..
Be wary of someone who calls all their exes crazy. They`re probably the reason.
I wonder if they let me grow cannabis on Farmville, I`ll be able to sell it on Mafia Wars?
I hope this snowstorm doesn`t impact my schedule of aimlessly wasting my day online.....
I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do... And for those who like country music, denigrate means ‘to speak badly of`.
I always dress up when I try to cook. The odds of me starting a fire are pretty high and I want to make sure I look good for the firemen.
Jesus, take the wheel. Carlos, you take the stereo & I`ll take lookout.
My girlfriend left the lights on, on her Smart Car last night. This morning I had to jump start it with my Android.
I find if you sprinkle some bacon bits on a salad, but don’t actually add any salad, then its a pretty good salad.