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To be truthful,,, I have never unrolled a sleeping bag and been able to roll it back up any smaller than the size of a garage.
Got an awesome watch for my birthday. It was waterproof, shockproof, fireproof, bulletproof, acidproof, childproof & scratchproof. I lost it already.
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? I still have to get up and take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.
Christmas is just like any other day in the workplace, you work your butt off and the fat guy with a suit gets all the credit.
They say that nobody is perfect, then they say that practice makes perfect. I wish they`d make up their mind
Drinking coffee in the afternoon is like eating the mushroom that makes you big in Super Mario.
Great. Trapped in an elevator with a dead body again. Well not exactly dead yet but he`s making noises with his gum
I am the bestest at the English language...
Getting to places would be so much easier if I had a helicopter.
Day six of my push-up challenge. So far, I`ve eaten 107 push-up pops.
Now working on my 2nd million. I gave up on the first.
If you`re in a hole, stop digging...
Here`s hoping the wind at your back doesn`t come from the corned beef and cabbage you had for lunch. Happy St. Patrick`s Day!
Jealous women do better research then the FBI. True story.
My doctor recommended I increase the amount of Greens in my diet...so I started drinking more Rolling Rock.