Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Please rephrase your question in the form of a compliment.
This hangover feels like Quentin Tarantino directed it.
Ya know u would never know u where happy if u never had bad memory.
Ten seconds of drug commercials are spent telling you what the drug is for and the rest is spent basically daring you to take it.
If a clown farts, does it smell funny?
The guy that figured out babies instinctively hold their breath under water probably had a lot of explaining to do.
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
If you keep bending your iPhone 6 you`ll eventually have a sweet flip phone.
Don`t be sad if you didn`t get a Valentine`s Day gift, lt`s not the end of the world. That`s still ten months away.
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as “that weird thing I did for a while.”
I`ve been married twice. The next wife I have will be someone else`s and she can just go home when she`s mad at me.
Crayons are a lot like M & M`s, all the colors taste the same.
Doormats are a gateway rug.
And remember friends, condoms aren`t always protective....my friend was wearing one and he fell down the stairs
Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting.